It’s so hot that people are standing next to Rupert Murdoch just to be near something shady. - Leno
Amid the heat, health officials are telling Americans to stay home. Americans responded by saying, “We are home. We have no jobs.” - Conan
It’s so hot, Casey Anthony thought she was already in hell. - Leno
Republicans are blaming President Obama for bringing the heat from his native Kenya. - Jimmy Kimmel
The heat index in Washington, D.C. was 114 degrees. Maybe the world actually did end in May and the people in Washington are actually in hell. Jimmy Kimmel
