You have to include everyone that lives in your house, or even sleeps part-time in your house. You know, like Sandra Bullock’s husband.
Government officials are warning spring breakers about violence from Mexican drug gangs. They say to stay out of L.A.
According to researchers in London, babies are born to dance, and they greatly prefer music to speech. The music the like best is Lady Gaga.
The House has passed a $15 billion jobs bill. The bad news is, all of those new jobs are fixing Toyotas.
Just two days after being told by his doctor to cut down on his cholesterol, President Obama went to a Savannah restaurant and had a meal that included fried chicken and blueberry pudding. That’s why he’s in favor of healthcare, he’s going to need it.
Erma: How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
Phyllis: Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Erma: I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Phyllis: Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
Erma: My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Phyllis: Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Erma: Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
Gatorade has officially ended their relationship with Tiger Woods. He was seeing at least five other sports drinks.