Erma and Phyllis


Erma: How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

Phyllis: Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Erma: I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.


Phyllis: Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Erma: My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

Phyllis:
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

Erma: Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.