Erma: How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?Phyllis: Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Erma: I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Phyllis: Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
Erma: My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Phyllis: Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Erma: Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
