Converting Urine Into Drinking Water

The astronauts are busy installing a machine that converts urine into drinking water. Is the economy really that bad? - Craig Ferguson

GM Dumped Tiger

GM has announced that they are ending their endorsement deal with Tiger Woods. When asked why, a GM spokesman said, 'Tiger Woods is successful, competitive, popular . . . and that's just not us.' - Conan O'Brien
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.
- Brian Kiley
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies. - Groucho Marx

Time to Put Your Paw Down!

How to tell when its time to make your kids sleep in their own bed....

That's Generous of Bill

Bill Clinton went to Barack Obama and said that he would do anything to help Hillary become secretary of state, even remove his profile from


he would place all his interns in a blind trust. - David Letterman

Michael Jackson is in Trouble Again.....

Michael Jackson is in trouble again. He is supposed to testify in a lawsuit, but his lawyer says he’s too sick to travel. He can only travel in an emergency — like a Jonas Brothers concert. - Craig Ferguson


Some people are having a hard time, little money for food and other necessities. Here comes "SPAM" to the rescue! Spam is hot and selling like crazy.

Spam workers have been working double shifts for months and America can't get enough of the much maligned and laughed at entree.
Get your fill of news about Spam in the NY Times Article.

Woody Allen: Live to be 100

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. - Woody Allen

McCain is Back to His Full Time Job

McCain is back to his full-time job: yelling at people who park in front of his house. - David Letterman

Obama's Puppy Name Choices

The Obamas are getting a new puppy for the White House. They’re still trying to decide what to name it. They’re thinking Rex if it’s a boy, and Hillary if it’s a bitch. - Craig Ferguson

Slip 'N Slide?

Sports Illustrated says that Barack Obama is going to install a basketball court at the White House. In order to make room, workers at the White House will have to get rid of President Bush's Slip ’n Slide. - Conan O'Brien

Tallulah's Lament

"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner." - Tallulah Bankhead

Men Are Like Fine Wine.....

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner.
- Janice Trudeau

Does Your Office Use These Strategies?

Commonly Used Strategies for Resolving Conflict:

1. Always BLAME others
2. GENERALIZE whenever possible - use words like always and never.
3. DENY that any problem exists
4. PERSONALIZE the dispute

Sarah Palin Was Watching.....

People all over the world are celebrating Obama’s victory. Sarah Palin watched the Russians celebrating from her house. - Craig Ferguson


The city of Chicago was so excited about Obama’s win that hundreds of thousands of people turned out for his victory rally. There was an awkward moment when Obama put on a hat that said “Proud to be Muslim” and screamed, “Suckers!" - Conan O'Brien

Man Sues God-God Has Judge Throw Case Out

Here's a case of royal Chutzpah-Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers has sued God!

Apparently Mr. Chambers is seeking an injunction against God because he believes God is conducting a terrorist threats against him and his constituents (lucky bucks that they are).

"Additionally, he said God inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorisation of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

The judge dismissed the suit saying the plaintiff must have access to the defendant to serve the papers.

Senator Chambers has 30 days to appeal and refile his case against God. Let's stay tuned to see what the defendant's-pardon me, God's response will be.

Read the whole story at Yahoo News.