You might be a redneck if...
Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed. - Unknown
Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything. - Charles Kuralt, On the Road With Charles Kuralt
I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. - Erma Bombeck