Keep This In Mind When Purchasing a Vehicle
"Never have more car windows than you have children" - Erma Bombeck
Three Entrepreneurs...
(21 June 2007, Philippines) Three entrepreneurs planned to profit from stolen scrap metal. They entered a former US military complex and approached the prize: an abandoned water tank. Bedazzled by the potential upside, the three threw logic to the wind, and began to cut the metal legs out from under the tank. Guess where it fell? Straight onto the thieves. Their flattened bodies have not yet been identified.
Dave Barry on The Holiday Season
"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'" - Dave Barry
Dr. Seuss Quotes
* "How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?”
* “Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”
* "You're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in.”
* "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
* “Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”
* "You're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in.”
* "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Few Things Are More Satifying ...
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. - Doug Larson
We're All Mad...
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain
Natalie Wood-Changing Men
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood
When Trouble Arises...
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. - Dave Barry
Bent Coil Accusation
"I was sued by a woman who claimed that she became pregnant because she watched me on television and I bent her contraceptive coil." - Famous Psychic Uri Geller
The Supreme Court Ruled ...
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." - Jay Leno
Enmeshed In The Holiday Season
"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space." - Dave Barry
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