Joan Rivers Says.....

Why do I always get the ugliest Xmas gifts? You know it's bad when the nicest thing you can say is, "I'd be so upset if this caught fire."

I hate bad Christmas gifts. I just got Susan Boyle’s new book of styling tips. Tip #33: How to turn a shopping bag into a smart accessory.


Congress overturned "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" and I’m very excited. Civil rights aside, I can’t wait to see the Army’s spring looks.