Vintage Henny Youngman

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.


I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.


My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.


Take my wife... Please!