Twitter's Fail Whale Funny Quotes

Idea:  Netflix, but for pancakes. Or Blockbuster By Mail for pancakes. Even Omaha Steaks for pancak...look, my point is: mail-order pancakes.

I think that show 'Americas got Talent' should be renamed to 'Americas got Some Talent, & A lot of Crazy Psychos!'

 How long does guacamole last in the fridge? Please say a year.