Top Ten Signs New Yorkers Are Getting Too Fat
10. Elevators have a maximum occupancy of one
9. The Statue of Liberty is now holding a cupcake
8. Driver's license photos larger to include all chins
7. Broadway's Shubert Alley renamed Kirstie
6. Robotic voice in the subway says, "Stand clear of the closing doors, lardass"
5. Thousands of "potholes" are actually footprints in the pavement
4. 97% of ATM passwords are either "fudge" or "bacon"
3. People becoming Yankees fans just for the slimming pinstripes
2. Most popular store: Gap For Tubby Dudes
1. New Yorkers are winded after giving the finger
