* "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you."
* "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
* Groucho: "That's in every contract, that's what you call a sanity clause."
Chico: "You can't a fool a me there ain't no sanity clause"
* "We've got to speed things up in this hotel. Chef, if a guest orders a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes. If he orders a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute.
If he orders a one-minute egg, give him a chicken and let him work it out for himself."
* Groucho: "You know, I'd buy you a parachute if I knew it wouldn't open."
Chico: "Haha you're crazy, I got a pair of shoes."
* "Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped."
