When I attend the Oscars I'm on the edge of my seat. Not because I'm
nominated-I just don't want to catch anything from some starlet. - Joan Rivers
What is the difference between going to the airport before 7am and jumping on a grenade? - Jim Gaffigan
The inventor of the etch-a-sketch died this week. He was buried horizontally, then vertically, then horizontally. - Rita Rudner
That’s the big story that broke this week — former Miami Dolphins
quarterback Dan Marino fathered a secret love child back in 2005.
Obviously, his wife is not too happy. In fact, he could become the first
NFL player to sustain more concussions AFTER he retired. - Jay Leno
Just explained the concept of a courtesy flush to my 7 year old son. You're welcome society. - Jim Gaffigan
