She'd Pay Double Not to Hear Bieber
Justin Bieber is being sued for $9 million by a woman who says she went
deaf at his concert. I'd pay DOUBLE that to not hear him sing again. - Joan Rivers
Bibles and Kindles
A hotel in England is bringing in Kindles to replace Bibles on the
nightstands. And then they'll be bringing in more Bibles to replace all
those stolen Kindles. - Jimmy Fallon
A Nicotine Vaccine?
Just read that Cornell has developed a nicotine vaccine that works on
rodents, which is great if you’re a mouse with a 2-pack-a-day habit. - Joan Rivers
Fixing Planes with Super Glue!
A United Airlines passenger has filed a complaint after a maintenance
man dropped superglue on her head on a flight to Houston. I don’t know
what’s scarier — that a passenger got superglue on her head, or that
United fixes their airplanes with superglue. - Jimmy Fallon
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