The 2010 Facebook Awards by Billy Eichner

Low Carb Cookies for Cookie Monster?

“Sesame Street” began its 41st season. The Cookie Monster is going to have to switch to a low-carb diet. - Craig Ferguson

Facebook Phone?

There are rumors going around that Facebook is building a cell phone. It’s pretty good, except you can only use it to call people you barely remember from high school. - Jimmy  Fallon

Bridalplasty

E! is coming out with a new reality show called "Bridalplasty" where brides-to-be compete to win plastic surgery. Because what every woman wants is for their husband to lift that veil and finally say those beautiful, heartfelt words: “Oh, thank God you got rid of that thing.” - Jimmy Fallon

Insomnia

A new study found that exercise can help relieve insomnia. Or if you’re like most Americans, just thinking about exercise can help relieve insomnia. - Jimmy Fallon

Jay Leno Funnies.....

*  Nancy Pelosi’s Republican opponent, John Dennis, has an ad where he depicts Pelosi as the Wicked Witch of the West. Pelosi is very angry and the Wicked Witch is even angrier.

*  President Obama spoke to students this week and told them to stay focused and stay in school. You know why? Because there are no jobs out there.

*  For the first time ever, Microsoft’s Bing search engine has more users in America than Yahoo!. I heard that on Google.

Performer Amy Phillips Satirizing Rachel Zoe's "Recession-Couture"

Most American cable TV viewers know of the "Rachel Zoe Project."The show features celebrity stylist "Rachel Zoe", her assistants and family. Performer Amy Phillips is the premier Rachel Zoe impersonator. In her satirical videos she teases, mocks and impersonates Rachel unmercifully. This video shows Rachel/Amy attempting to help a homeless woman by designing her a new dress she calls "Recession-Couture." If you're a regular viewer of Rachel's show you'll find this video hysterical!

More GaGa Slams!

Comedian Billy Eichner Slams GaGa:

I started out with Bieberfever and now thanks to Lady Gaga I have salmonella.

Madonna rode the subway in NYC yesterday! I can only assume that means Lady Gaga will ride the subway today, but not as good.

Joan Rivers-Jersey Shore's Snooki is an Organ Donor.....

I read that Snooki is an organ donor, which should make future recipients very happy since Snooki's body has never rejected anything. - Joan R.

Old Forgotten Irish Saying.....

"May Your Rear End Be On The Toilet Before The Devil Knows Your Constipated."

Ba Ba Walters and Lady GaGa!

Craig Ferguson:

Barbara Walters was back on “The View” after heart surgery. The doctor said she’ll make a full recovery as long as she avoids stress, loud noises, and arguments.

Lady Gaga is on a magazine cover wearing a bikini made of raw meat. I’d be grossed out if that was on my skin. And the meat is pretty gross too.

Shallow in Hollyweird

People in Hollywood are very shallow. They have handicapped parking spots for women who have never had breast implants. - Joan R.

Don't Hate Me

                             JUST BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL

Poker Using Tarot Cards

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

Law and Lawyers

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers. - George Savile

Botox Statement

The maker of Botox has been ordered to pay $600 million after marketing the drug for unapproved uses. In a statement, Botox said, “Even if it's hard to tell from our expression, we are extremely disappointed by this decision." - Jimmy Fallon

Paris Hilton Thought.....

Paris Hilton told police that she thought the cocaine found in her purse was gum. Well, she also thought her last CD was music. - Jay Leno
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