Tiger Needs a Really Good Watch
Swiss watchmaker Tag Heuer is re-evaluating their endorsement deal with Tiger Woods. Which is ironic, because in order to schedule a career, a wife, and 14 mistresses, you need a really good watch. - Conan O'Brien
Santa Has The Right Idea.....
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
Change The Locks!!!
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson
Woody-Some Sort of Sign!
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen
Britney vs Tiger
Twenty-eight years old! That shows you how quickly things can change. Britney is now back on top of her game and Tiger Woods is in the tabloids for crashing his car. Who could have seen . . . - Jay Leno
Don't You Hate It When.....
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night. - Steven Wright
Oldest Rodent in The Business
Mickey Mouse is now 81. He's now the oldest rodent in show business, unless you count that thing on Donald Trump's head. - Craig Ferguson
The Safest Cars in America.....
Today a list of the safest cars in America was released and four of the cars were built by Chrysler. Apparently, Chrysler cars are so safe because they never leave the dealership. - Conan O'Brien
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