Mark Twain-Sacred Cows

“Sacred cows make the best hamburger" - Mark Twain

Cooking With Wine

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” - W.C. Fields

Glutton or Explorer?

“I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food” - Erma Bombeck

Dave Barry-Guys Are Simple...

“Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.” - Dave Barry

Joan Rivers Quote

Hi Gang! Been too busy to post for awhile but will try to post more regularly as time permits!


"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.” - Joan Rivers

You Might Be a Redneck...

You might be a redneck if...
Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
- Unknown

Mae West: She's No Model Lady

“I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.” - Mae West

Steven Wright-Visionary

“I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.” - Steven Wright

Travel and See Nothing!

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything. - Charles Kuralt, On the Road With Charles Kuralt

The Lawn

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

Erma Bombeck-Independence Day

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. - Erma Bombeck

Watch Out for Dinner Parties!

The dying process begins the minute we are born, but it accelerates during dinner parties. - Carol Matthau