Happy President's Day.....
Happy President’s Day! There should be a “First Ladies Day” to honor the
women who suffered while their husbands slept around with interns. - Joan Rivers
Leno on Chinese V.P. Los Angeles Visit
China's vice president was in Los Angeles today. When he got off the
plane, he apologized for his problem with the language. Apparently, his
interpreter doesn't speak Spanish.
The Chinese vice president said the first place he
wanted to go was Hollywood. He wanted to visit where all his favorite
pirated DVD movies were made.
Clean Humor
Office Humor from Twitter's Drink at Work
Judy, making an entire outfit from paperclips does not make you the
"office Lady Gaga." And PLEASE add some Post-its to cover "down there."
We won't be ordering any more of the "Weekday Sadness" blend for the Keurig. We'll still stock "Goin' Nowhere" and "Not Cocoa."
Jim Gaffigan's Valentine's Day Forecast
Disappointment with intermittent pockets of candy eating.
Severe Punishment for Madonna Stalker
Police recaptured Madonna's stalker. As a punishment, they're making him watch that movie she just wrote and directed. - Rita Rudner
Stallone & Schwarzenegger
Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are teaming up for an
action-adventure movie thriller. They think it will be the movie of the
year. Yeah, the year is 1983.
I saw this picture online today. This is Arnold Schwarzenegger's
personal photo. It's him and Sylvester Stallone in the hospital
together. Hopefully he's in there getting a vasectomy.
The truth is, Arnold Schwarzenegger asked Sylvester Stallone to be there in case Maria showed up with a scalpel.
Being Imperfect
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others. - Doug Larson
Steven Wright Funnies.....
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
6 More Weeks of Winter According To.....
Yes, Please Refer to Salad as Junk Food!
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