The Oppressive Chinese Authorities Go Green!
"Beijing skies are so polluted that Chinese authorities are planning emergency measures for the Olympics. For example, protesters will now only be run over with hybrid tanks." - Jay Leno
Ot Oh-The Unibomber!
The Unibomber, Ted Kaczynski, wrote a letter from jail saying he’s angry that his cabin is now on display in a museum. Well, they think that’s what the letter says . . . everyone’s afraid to open it. - Craig Ferguson
Yeah, Why Don't They?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. - Steven Wright
Rediculous Business Jargon
"We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings." - Scott Adams
Olympic Related Humor
"President Bush arrived in Beijing today. I don’t think he really gets the Olympics. When they asked him if he liked the decathlon, he said that he prefers regular coffee." - Jay Leno
Extra Funny "Late Show Top Ten"
Top Ten Signs Your Airline is Cutting Costs
10. During flight they hit you with additional $200 "landing charge"9. It's day 4 of your honeymoon, and you're still on the tarmac
8. Plane has a "Hyundai" hood ornament
7. When you arrive, Hawaii looks suspiciously like Detroit
6. Inflatable vest replaced with smaller inflatable bow ties
5. Plane can't take off until you lose 20 pounds
4. In-flight entertainment: watching two fat guys fight for an armrest
3. Flight attendants wearing clothes you packed
2. The pilot — Andy Dick
1. During the captain's preflight checklist, you hear him say, "close enough"
From Camel to Camel
My grandfather rode a camel, my father rode a camel, I drive a Mercedes, my son drives a Land Rover, his son will drive a Land Rover, but his son will ride a camel." — attributed to Sheikh Rashid bin Saeed Al Maktoum, Emir of Dubai
PC Problems
Sorry Readers-My PC is giving me trouble right now-I'll be posting when things get straightened out. Thanks for visiting.
NBC News Defended Their.....
This week, NBC News defended their coverage of Barack Obama. They’ve been accused of giving him more favorable treatment than John McCain. And today NBC New denied it. They said, “That’s ridiculous. We’ve never even heard of John McCain.” - Jay Leno
Batman TV Series Quotes
*** Robin: "Boy! That was our closest call ever! I have to admit that I was pretty scared!"
Batman: "I wasn't scared in the least."
Robin: "Not at all?"
Batman: "Haven't you noticed how we always escape the vicious ensnarements of our enemies?"
Robin: "Yeah, because we're smarter than they are!"
Batman: "I like to think it's because our hearts are pure."
*** Robin: "You can't get away from Batman that easy!"
Batman: "Easily."
Robin: "Easily."
Batman: "Good grammar is essential, Robin."
Robin: "Thank you."
Batman: "You're welcome."
*** Robin: "Batman, maybe I should stay home tonight. Homework, you know."
Batman: "I think you should acquire a taste for opera, Robin, as one does for poetry and olives."
Batman: "I wasn't scared in the least."
Robin: "Not at all?"
Batman: "Haven't you noticed how we always escape the vicious ensnarements of our enemies?"
Robin: "Yeah, because we're smarter than they are!"
Batman: "I like to think it's because our hearts are pure."
*** Robin: "You can't get away from Batman that easy!"
Batman: "Easily."
Robin: "Easily."
Batman: "Good grammar is essential, Robin."
Robin: "Thank you."
Batman: "You're welcome."
*** Robin: "Batman, maybe I should stay home tonight. Homework, you know."
Batman: "I think you should acquire a taste for opera, Robin, as one does for poetry and olives."
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