Coffee or Tea?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

The Florida Law

"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." - Jerry Seinfeld

Nostrils

Her only flair is in her nostrils. - Film Critic Pauline Kael

The I-Man

My goal is to goad people into saying something that ruins their life. - Don Imus

Rita's Wisdom

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?' - Rita Rudner

Money or Smarts?

"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. " - Will Rogers

Mike Tyson-Historian

"I'm a historian, and that freaks me out." - Mike Tyson

Mark Twain-Sacred Cows

“Sacred cows make the best hamburger" - Mark Twain

Cooking With Wine

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” - W.C. Fields

Glutton or Explorer?

“I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food” - Erma Bombeck

Dave Barry-Guys Are Simple...

“Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.” - Dave Barry

Joan Rivers Quote

Hi Gang! Been too busy to post for awhile but will try to post more regularly as time permits!


"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.” - Joan Rivers